wrongly designed vehicle.

// Top 15 things of 2012//

1. Went to NYC with Ruby and Tomas

met (up) with Morgan, Greg, Peter, Dennis, Liam, Dil, Mary, Vinh, Michael, Charlie, Melody, Frank, Caro, and da Poon

2. Got elected as Services Commissioner on the UC Lit, the oldest student government in Canada

3. Got hired as a Frosh Executive

4. Went to NYC again with my sister and John

met up with Greg, Dennis, Brian, Nick, Vinh, Mary and Michael!

5. Visited by Greg and Peter. Best week of my life.

6. Had an amazing Dragon Boat season, especially Montreal

7. Travelled Europe! Italy, Spain and France <3

8. Frosh prep and Frosh Week!

9. MDK with Yoho, Aggie, Munira, and Ben!

10. A coincidental encounter.

11. Saw the XX live in concert.

12. Halloween.

13. First time at Cavalcade of Lights && Christmas Market (@distillery)

14. First Pub Crawl!

15. Secret Santa with the tumblrgaysiansensasian

17 / 12

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according to facebook and what I remember
uclit
UC Waterdragons
frosh
pride
friends
life
xx
halloween
christmas
secret santa
europe
montreal
nyc
new york
@ibejangry
@tatertowninhabitant
@gregasaurus
@m2xu
@whoispeterki
@denniscakes
@leeeyum
@thedilnguyen
@marylanvi
@vtng
@byjinnguyen
@n2kk
omg I can't remember everyone's url
fuqdishit

This past weekend was seriously an emotional roller coaster. (Warning: Long rambling)

Saturday I started off pumped as ever. I took part in making the lineups and I knew what the plans were for races this weekend. We did alright in the first heat but not what we wanted. The second heat was our chance to get a better time to qualify for A or B, the divisions we belong in. It was the last race of the day and I wanted to empty my tank. I was going to put my all in to this. And I did. We all did; it was one of our best races. But we went so hard, our cox(steers person) fell off the boat.
McMaster’s A team only had 4 rows on us and we were so god damn close to catching up. Somehow we were able to keep ourselves straight for a while but with the oar deep in the water we started swerving to the right, into lanes 3, 4 and 5. Luckily they were far enough behind that we proved no danger to them at all as we kept paddling until we were out of the lanes. Also, luckily the oar wasn’t the other way or McMaster would hate us for ruining their race.

This.. This really broke me. Last year our team was not in the right attitude for Toronto Islands, and this year was supposed to be better. I wanted it so badly to be better. My teammate was crying and I wanted to cry too but I held it in so I could comfort her. Some people on this team don’t know how much it means to the rest of us, but it hurts. We debriefed and I went to change.
Talking to one of my good friends on the team, I started shaking. I remember yelling at myself to use every ounce of discipline and energy left in me for this race to get this boat to the finish line. I would rather be last place in A final then first place in D final. I could not believe what happened and I broke down crying. The worst part is, the cox came over to hug me and apologized. He’s like a brother to me and I wasn’t blaming him at all, so I just went on wailing into his shoulder. We were doing so great, he had no control of what happened. I just wish it didn’t happen on that race, the race where we were so.. fucking.. close!
My head coach came over to make me realize that results don’t matter, we know it was a great race. We know we were close, and we’re just going to work harder. It was hard to get into my head but if I was on the sidelines watching, those are the same things I would be telling my teammates.

Fastforward to Sunday. We’re placed in the last divisions. University Finals E and Premier Mixed R. As cocky as this might sound, our competition was negligible. These final times are supposed to be close by less then 3 seconds, even milliseconds. These other teams are in these divisions because their times are 20 or 30 seconds longer.

In University Final E, we blasted out of the water and did the race for ourselves. To beat our own times and that’s all we cared about. It didn’t feel like a great race technically and we didn’t paddle at our very best, but we managed a 2:10:04. Our final time was faster then two A teams and all of B division, and we still have room to improve. We were able to show that we did not belong in E division.

I had the chance to drum the premier final, my first time ever. It was nerve-wracking but all in all, really exciting. It’s intense and I love it; once I’m in the boat, nothing else matters (not even my fears of falling in). Too bad I’m a little heavy to be on the drum for important races haha but we got Gold in this final too.

The weekend went through a lot of ups and downs, but what’s life without them right? We turned the weekend around even through all the shit that happened and that’s what seems to always happen. Although some of this team isn’t as cohesive and dedicated as I want them to be, I will always be proud to be on the UC Water Dragons. Literally, with blood, sweat and tears, we push through and keep fighting.

25 / 06

2 notes

// Getting over it.//

Today was the first time we went out on the boat since the incident on Thursday(here). I thought I wouldn’t have TOO much trouble but as we left the dock, my heart started racing. Every time I saw the water rise near the gunnel, I could see the memory of the water rushing over the edge and into the boat. During the first piece, I wasn’t able to fully commit and every time we were idle on the water, my heart was just pounding; I couldn’t focus. Even with the slightest imbalance in the boat had my mind racing.

I had to tell my coach that I was uncomfortable being in the boat and that I wasn’t as okay as I thought I was. It was one of the hardest things to do. I felt weak. Emotionally weak. I thought I was fine, but I couldn’t do it. I felt like I was letting the team down if I left a seat empty, and I felt like I was letting myself down by not practicing with the team. As understanding as he was, I put so much pressure on myself to get over it that I felt like a failure. I had to fight back tears while admitting my incapability of handling my newly developed fear.

Luckily a teammate arrived and was able to take my seat while I just did some dock work during the second piece. After taking a break to calm myself and getting myself used to being over the water again, I got back in for the second hour. I was calmer, but during idling periods, the nerves would start to go again. I just gotta keep my mind off the fear.
On a brighter note, my paddling apparently looked great after I got back in. Once I had the paddle under, my mind was erased of fear and focused on getting connected with that water.

17 / 06

13 notes

—

So I almost died today.

It’s funny, because before practice started I looked at my pfd and wondered “would this be able tos ave my life if I fell in the water.” Guess someone wanted my question answered. Today, we fell in the water.

After we finished our piece, we didn’t fully lean our weight outside of the boat and a large wave hit us. The boat flipped over with my side going under first. I ended up under the boat, no air, just water. It happened so fast I don’t even remember if I panicked but I reached up and grabbed the seat. I pulled myself to the gunnel, under it and out of the water. Coughing, I yelled out that I can’t swim and went for the top of the boat, then I saw my teammate and grabbed onto him (he’s a big guy so I knew he could hold me up lol). Apparently two others were under the boat too, but I was the only one that couldn’t swim. Yes, I can’t swim.
It was pretty frightening when I wrapped my head around it. We flagged some boats down while trying to pull the boat closer to the shore. After we had someone tie our boat to theirs, these two wave runners came by and damn one guy was cute. Everyone told 3 of us to get on because we couldn’t swim, and of course I didn’t refuse LOL. Anyways, they were nice enough to go back and forth and get everyone back to the shore while the boat was dragged back.

I’m glad I wasn’t under the boat for too long, or else I might be traumatized right now. I still might be. I was able to make jokes as we were out in the water but I’m worried that if I get back into the boat on Saturday, I won’t be able to fully lean out and paddle properly. Hopefully I can get over it as quickly as I do with most things.

Near death experienced checked off my bucket list. Never again, please and thank you!

Also, my friend wanted me to make this meme too

—

15 / 06

19 notes

// The weekend!//

Ahhh I had such a great time these past few days.

With the dragon boat regatta, a lot of things are looking up for us even though the weather was soooo shitty. The last regatta, we had a qualifier race and a final where each race included someone breaking a shitty paddle that the race site provided for us. Clearly, we didn’t do so well in those races and our times weren’t great. This time, a lot of our rookies were able to fix their technique, we had no mishaps in the boat, and we were able to place 3rd in Division A finals! We even achieved a better time than we’ve had in a couple of years. Even though there were no medals (since 3rd out of 4 boats in this division wouldn’t make sense), we came out of that race proud being really close to taking second/first.

The rest of the weekend was just as great. A couple of us reconnected with an old teammate 2 nights early, hung around picnic-ing and such, and checking out Niagara Falls.

Because the driver loves One Direction…I now can’t get One Thing out of my head.

10 / 06

3 notes

imvanntastic:

Slept under the stars and woke up to clearly skies.

Had a great retreat with the team. Enjoyed the sauna, rafting in the ponds, barbecuing, playing man hunt, and for some reason, had some ritual seance thing goin on. Ended the night with some drinking, glowstick fights, and sleeping out on the balcony.

MORE PICS OF MY RETREAT. All with me of course.

Don’t know, but whatevs.

Waiting for food LOL

We’re flying!

Spelled out my name, aww yee.

Some creepy seance shit.

I’m not in this one…cause I can’t swim :( They jumped in

Our cheesy paddling photo.

After a star filled night of food, sauna, alcohol, glow sticks, and no showering… GOODBYE!

08 / 05

13 notes

Slept under the stars and woke up to clearly skies.

Had a great retreat with the team. Enjoyed the sauna, rafting in the ponds, barbecuing, playing man hunt, and for some reason, had some ritual seance thing goin on. Ended the night with some drinking, glowstick fights, and sleeping out on the balcony.

05 / 05

13 notes

OMG I was supposed to sleep early

But I spent the last 2 hours making a design to submit for our team shirts.

Now I still have to finish my Assignment.

LOLOLOL oh god. good thing it’s easy.

02 / 02

3 notes

UC Waterdragons

// I’m so pleased!//

I lost weight after my dragonboat season finished at the end of July and I was significantly thinner. I lost almost 10 pounds by the time School started up again in September. Frosh week didn’t help, it made it worse. Then I started gaining back up to an okay wait and the past 2/3 weeks, my diet and exercise has been going down the drain and again, I lost 3 pounds. Regina George would have been jealous.

But today, I weight myself after my practice and I’m back up 3 pounds! I’m at an okay weight again and I need to push myself to gain moar. It’s my biggest disadvantage in terms of representing the team :(

08 / 11

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// 3 hours of sleep. A 12 hour meeting. Now, for some endless hours of studying.//

My meeting was intense today. It was for the UC Lit Budget meeting for the fall/winter year. There were so many huge debates and points brought up for every budget, but the most important one for me was the UC Water Dragons budget. We lost 1600 of our funding last year that may or may not be coming still and the $4000 the team requested this year(same as last year) was up for a decrease of $2000 leaving the team deficient of 3600 overall. Arguments between myself, the president, and many others were flying back and forth.

The moment I felt like I was losing the battle, I poured my heart out. My blood was boiling and my hands were shaking. I told the Lit how we ask for enough money to just compete. We don’t request funding for unnecessary equipment like matching PFD’s and/or paddles (as some teams do) and we paddle in the dirtier, contaminated beach club because it’s cheaper. We pay up to $300 out of our own pocket to contribute to the team by buying jerseys, and paying for gas to carpool to these festivals.

I had to fight this battle with all I had because UC Water Dragons and paddling has become a lifestyle to me and has affected me to the core. I can’t imagine not doing it anymore and it terrified me and broke my heart thinking that we could lose so much money that may or may not allow us to continue as a team. We ended up securing the funding for the first run through. I realized that we were safe but I ended up breaking down after that fight. I actually started tearing and had trouble pulling myself together.
I collected myself quickly and then walked to the washroom, where I let it out. I don’t know what came over me, but this family I made last year; this life I had…I couldn’t have it destroyed. I cried and cried. Then came back and prepared for the last reading.

End of story. We kept our budget.

17 / 10

10 notes